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Many in my line of work are referred to as Trusted Advisors. But are we really? The traditional definition of Trust as defined by business expert David Maister is the combination of one’s Credibility, Reliability and Intimacy — divided by their Self-Orientation.
And while Maister’s is a worthy set of characteristics to measure one’s level of Trust, I suggest there is another important metric. I call it the What Else (WE) factor.
You can enhance the trust others have for you by concluding your normal business discussions with a simple “What Else?” More specifically, “What Else is going on? What Else are you trying to accomplish? What Else are you losing sleep over?” What Else questions like these open the door of exploration; and then you can follow up with questions like “How are you doing that? Am I able to help you in some way? May I introduce you to another resource (person, concept, organization, book, etc.)?”
Should your What Else question garner the response, “I can’t believe you think you have earned the right to ask that question,” you know you have overstepped your bounds and likely do not have the Trusted Advisor Relationship you had thought. I believe that all Trusted Advisors ascribe to the standard of being able to ask advisees about anything; and hope they have built the trust to inquire about things that others cannot.
A friend of mine who is a businessman has an uncanny ability to quickly establish relationships and build trust with new acquaintances; truly, one would assume he has been the best friend of these people for years. What’s his secret to connecting with such ease?
Earning trusted relationships requires that we:
- Understand that our advisees care less about how much we know than knowing we care. We live that out.
- Listen when we are in dialog. We show that we are interested, more than being interesting.
- Are credible, reliable and want that intimacy; not because it helps us, but rather to serve others.
- Possess the demeanor to be sincere, to be approachable and to be someone people want to be with and talk to.
- Are not judgmental. Remember, people are actually putting their trust in you to be their advisor.
It is vital that Trusted Advisors continue to learn and care and strive to better ourselves, so that we don’t just earn the trust of individuals, but also foster a trusting environment.
By Bob Dodge
