As entrepreneurs, we spend the lion’s share of our time building infrastructure and processes, developing sales strategies, getting our financials in a row, and a million other implementations that are foundational to operating a successful company. So it makes sense that we often get caught up in the hard skills of business leadership, while some important softer skills may get overlooked. The most essential of those soft skills, in my opinion, is our ability to build friendships and personal connection with the employees we lead, the supplies we engage, and so many other key players in the growth and success of our businesses.
Let me be clear. I am not talking necessarily talking about inviting your receptionist to your baby’s first birthday party or meeting the accounting team for happy hour every Friday after work. What I am referring to is fostering a culture of mutual respect and connection, and investing a part of your personal self in the individuals who allow you and your business to flourish.
The Link Between Great Leadership and Connection
Effective leadership is so much more than calling the shots and steering your organizational ship in the right direction. Truly great leadership requires connection.
Throughout my over 30 years in leadership, I’ve learned that friendship and mutual care between leaders and teams drive engagement, motivation, and performance. A leader’s emotional investment inspires dedication and loyalty in their employees. But building trust and friendships is really not about the bottom line, or at least that shouldn’t be your main goal. Authentic connection is far more dynamic than simply boosting some metrics on a spreadsheet.
That being said, of course there are organizational benefits to fostering friendship, good will, and belonging with the key players in your business. When your employees feel more connected to you in a substantive way, they tend to be more engaged, more motivated, more loyal and less likely to quit. They are also better collaborators and contributors to organizational success. But again, these plusses should be considered the byproducts of authentic connection, not the goal itself.
The Dos for Building Friendship & Connection
Again, authenticity is key to building strong and positive relationships throughout your team. If to your employee, your friendship feels more like a business strategy than real connection and caring, you’re missing the mark, not to mention the point.
The following are some ways to start building comradery with your team:
- Show a genuine interest in their lives, families, and goals.
- Maintain an active ear that listens to hear, not to defend.
- Demonstrate empathy and act as a support to help them overcome challenges.
- Bond over common interests or experiences like hobbies, passions, and goals.
- Be yourself and let your authentic personality shine through.
And What You Shouldn’t Do
There are dynamics you should avoid when working to build friendships and connection within your business sphere:
- Don’t force friendships. Building connection with you should not be a job requirement.
- Don’t forget the difference between being a friend and a being buddy. You are still the leader of your business, and it is important to conduct yourself as such.
- Don’t get overly involved in your team’s personal matters, even if they invite you to do so. By overstepping your involvement in these situations, you risk blurring professional boundaries.
- Don’t make conversations one-sided. Strong communication skills are a key to connection.
Building Relationships with Fellow Business Owners
Entrepreneurs can find immense value by fostering personal connection with other owners. Friendships with your business leader peers creates opportunities for camaraderie, knowledge sharing, collaboration, and access to unique perspectives that can help fill your tank, both personally and professionally.
Developing friendships takes a conscious investment of time and vulnerability, but it is a soft skill that can yield some pretty wonderful results. By nurturing genuine connection throughout your role as an entrepreneur, you will enhance the wellbeing of the people that surround you, while building a thriving business in which everyone feels valued and supported.
Blair Koch is a Keynote Speaker, the CEO of TAB Denver West, a TAB CEO Advisory Board Facilitator, and a Business Ownership Lifecycle Coach. Blair has spent most of her career helping small business owners achieve their personal and professional goals.